Conservative Jokes

I keep making bad investments.  I mean, on the surface, the Casey Anthony Day Care Center had sounded like a great idea.

I was broke, in debt and sad.  Then a politician told me that huge debt was a mark of high financial intelligence, and it also means I love the elderly, the poor and certain goldfish, and you fix debt by spending more.  So I bought a 200 foot yacht.

A politician, a crook and a womanizer walked into a bar.  And that was just the first person.

How many politicians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: 213,549 made up of 535 in Congress to vote on it, creating 32 new government agencies to regulate the bulb and the process of screwing it in.

The Global Warming debate again suffered another severe scandal today when it was learned that the top IPCC scientist making the predictions, in fact was none other than Punxsutawney Phil, soothsayer of soothsayers, on Ground Hog Day.

Terminator-ed:  Was it the baby?  the lie?  Disregard for women? The tripling of California State Debt?  Regardless, in Arnold’s next movie, many will be rooting for:  “The Machines”.

Once Obama said that there were 57 states.  There were.  He sold 7 of them on e-bay to pay for his election.

535 conservative and liberal jokes: roll call at a joint session of Congress.

Medical Marijuana laws considered by congress: new meaning for a “Joint Session”.

Bipartisanship:  Tricking one guy on the other side in to voting with you

Compromise: Paying one guy on the other side in to voting with you.

Political leadership: Blackmailing one guy on the other side in to voting with you.

More Conservative Humor: Conservative Cartoons